// section 01

EVERYONE GETS SCARED

Jerry Seinfeld still gets nervous. Dave Chappelle paces backstage. Your fear is NORMAL.

Stage fright isn't the enemy. It's energy. Learn to use it.

Comedians who talk openly about their anxiety:

  • Jerry Seinfeld — Still gets butterflies before every set. Uses it as fuel.
  • Dave Chappelle — Paces backstage, smokes, talks to himself. Then murders.
  • Maria Bamford — Performs through diagnosed anxiety and OCD. Turns it into material.
  • John Mulaney — Described the terror of his first SNL monologue in detail.
  • Tig Notaro — Went on stage after devastating news. Vulnerability became her superpower.
  • Bo Burnham — Had panic attacks on stage. Made a whole special about it.
  • Hasan Minhaj — Talked about freezing at early mics. Now fills arenas.
  • Wanda Sykes — Was terrified at her first open mic. Kept going back.
// section 02

THE 5-MINUTE PRE-STAGE RESET

An interactive guided exercise. Do it backstage, in the bathroom, in your car. 5 steps. 5 minutes. You'll be ready.

60 SECONDS · 5 ROUNDS

Breathe with the circle. 4 seconds in, 4 seconds hold, 4 seconds out.

READY
0 / 5 rounds

30 SECONDS · GROUNDING

Bring yourself into the room. Name what's real around you.

5 THINGS YOU CAN SEE

4 THINGS YOU CAN HEAR

3 THINGS YOU CAN TOUCH

30 SECONDS · YOUR WHY

Why did you want to try comedy?

60 SECONDS · VISUALIZATION

Close your eyes. Picture yourself on stage. The spotlight hits. You deliver your first line. The crowd laughs. You feel it. You belong here.
1:00

30 SECONDS · YOUR MANTRA

Pick the phrase you'll say to yourself right before you walk on stage.

I'm not here to be perfect. I'm here to be brave.
The worst that happens is silence. I can survive silence.
Everyone in this room was once where I am.
I'm funnier than I think I am.
// section 03

IF YOU BOMB

Bombing is not dying. Bombing is learning.

WHAT TO DO WHEN IT GOES WRONG

  • DON'T apologize for your jokes
  • DON'T speed up (slow DOWN)
  • DON'T leave early (finish your time)
  • DO acknowledge it ("tough crowd" is OK)
  • DO keep going (the next joke might kill)
  • DO go back next week (THAT'S what separates you)

RECOVERY LINES TO MEMORIZE

  • "That joke works better in my head. Most things do."
  • "I see we're all saving our laughs for someone else tonight."
  • "That silence was so loud my phone vibrated."
  • "Don't worry, it gets worse."
  • "I've been funnier in my sleep. Literally. My roommate recorded it."
  • "This is going great in the parallel universe where I'm good at this."
  • "I'm not bombing. I'm building dramatic tension."
  • "You guys are a tough crowd. And by tough I mean conscious."
  • "My therapist said this would build character. She was wrong."
  • "That joke killed last time. Different crowd. Same disappointment."
// section 04

POST-SHOW RESET

You did it. Regardless of how it went, you did something most people never will.
5
// section 05

EMERGENCY MODE

For when you're about to go on stage RIGHT NOW.
BREATHE
YOU'RE READY. GO.